ISSA - International Slalom Skateboarding Association

JISSA lives!

Joe Iacovelli wrote:I would like to announce my coup d'etat of the ISSA. Once I have the sacred conch shell in my hands I will formerly dissolve the ISSA in favor of JISSA (Joe I's Slalom Skateboard ASSociation).

Here is some of what will be included in my mission statement;

A Yeah, we've got rules (see below) if you need them, but we are more about bringing new people, especially young people to the sport.

B We will organize insurance at a reduced price for all that need it.

C We will encourage innovation and outside of the box thinking and discourage sanctioned races in deserted office parks and military bases. There is no point in hiding our light under a bushell.

.

Is some of this stuff actually going to come true? T R I P P Y

ooh, bendy!

Here's my nomination for the official JISSA Cheerleaders:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mVpGmoES3w

Don't get frustrated. Wail til about the 55 second mark.

Stephen Lavin wrote:You're also kinda' like an ambassador right? Can you help my cousin with her green card?

LAVIN

Lavin..... how many "cousins" DO you have??

Please refer all questions to the JISSA Ombudsman, Brian Weasel Werner.

Maybe this Ombudsman thing was a mistake?

Barely three days into his appointment and we already see a clear CONFLICT OF INTEREST between Joe as Grand PooBah of the JISSA and The Final Voice Of God in the ISSA.

Hmmmm. . . .

So what happens when Joe is confronted with the issue of whether little Jimmy should pay his ISSA dues or buy beer for the JISSA Executive Committee Meeting (convening in a linen closet at the Bugtussel EconoLodge)? Well, we all know what Joe will do: slap the kid, take the money and buy more Avalons.

I'm going to have to go back to the Board and discuss this further. After all, if we don't get our percentage and the vig, then what's in it for us?

Then again, asking "what's in it for us?" is probably a question for the Ombudsman.

Brian Morgan wrote:Joe, would this or something like it be a good one stop thread to post stuff for your consideration or do you prefer a different approach?

Brian,

I've asked for email or PM's here. It's my thought that people may be more willing to broach these delicate subjects in private. Actual official complaints are between the two parties and I do not intend to make them fodder for keyboard racing. I don't see that it helps.

Joe

Yeah, so where do we send the WalMart Budweiser coupon Joe? Also, doesn't the ombudsman position require you to emcee races that you attend? You're also kinda' like an ambassador right? Can you help my cousin with her green card?

LAVIN

Write your question on the back of a $50 bill and send it by carrier pigeon to:

Joe's House
Ask Anybody
Wassaamattafuru, Connecticut 0U812

It helps if you first feed the pigeon.

Joe, congrats on your selection as omudsban or whatever.
A pretty small community but a question for you regarding best ways to submit requests so you don't get pounded from all directions;

But first, let's clear out the answer cache so we can hear from you directly:

Sooooo, I never thought this would happen to me in real life but the hottest woman I've ever seen was in the meat aisle trying to pick out a steak and I couldn't resist mentioning how the thick ones were so much better....

Is Wes gone now?

Okay, good.

Kidding Wes - whip my ass at Statesville sometime time this year - bout the farthest I can travel at the moment but maybe we get Dave to go? Bwahahahahaaa ahaha, ha.

Joe, would this or something like it be a good one stop thread to post stuff for your consideration or do you prefer a different approach?

wanna try again?

Joe,

I've been wondering: who's going to handle negotiating the collective bargaining agreement?

Zach McCaw wrote:Im new to slalom, I like this idea.

As for ignoring this thread... why would I do that when there are such great posts. I think this shitstorm should be celebrated, it gives the impression you guys have a pulse...

Cheers!

- Zach[/i]

I'm pretty sure I still have a pulse, though I've been accused otherwise (that mainly had to do with various odors, though).

Sorry, that helmet belongs to my Norwegian friend and I only used it that night. A damn good night though.

I need a new helmet, can I borrow yours Lobo?

Toby Warg wrote:Recruiting time!

Beldar,the ship from Remulak is here to pick you up.

Ulf Haag wrote:He he , Yeah! It aint over until the fat lady sings.

Is Copenhagen the capitol of Scandinavia...? Sorry must go out and feed the Polar bears now


Love and Kisses/Your everyday asshole Wolfy, Team Fat Bastards

If the polar bears are that far south global warming must be a hoax...

(Cyril, one of the Dutch (s)Crew)

Recruiting time!

"Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit..."

Wesley Tucker wrote:

Joe Iacovelli wrote:WTF dude? Where do you live? Why are you typing instead of out recruiting viking babes for us to skate with?

Joe

Oh, your boyfriend died her hair. Nice.

He he , Yeah! It aint over until the fat lady sings.

Is Copenhagen the capitol of Scandinavia...? Sorry must go out and feed the Polar bears now


Love and Kisses/Your everyday asshole Wolfy, Team Fat Bastards

Joe Iacovelli wrote:WTF dude? Where do you live? Why are you typing instead of out recruiting viking babes for us to skate with?

Joe

Joe Iacovelli wrote:
Robo Part Two,

WTF dude? Where do you live? Why are you typing instead of out recruiting viking babes for us to skate with?

Joe

I´m a Fat Bastard............and old...........not blond............Oh my god, I want to die.

Rule number? Vikings must bring viking girls to each race. Same for Canadians - who already do anyway...but still, let's make it a rule.

Zach McCaw wrote:Im new to slalom, I like this idea.

As for ignoring this thread... why would I do that when there are such great posts. I think this shitstorm should be celebrated, it gives the impression you guys have a pulse...

Cheers!

- Zach[/i]

Resting pulse rate of 120....

-R

Robo,

We can talk franchise. Payments are low (futton, beer, herring).

Zach,

Yeah! Thanks for being cool. We are grown ups on skateboards, taking ourselves too seriously only makes it worse.

Robo Part Two,

WTF dude? Where do you live? Why are you typing instead of out recruiting viking babes for us to skate with?

Joe

I prefer RISSA.

Im new to slalom, I like this idea.

As for ignoring this thread... why would I do that when there are such great posts. I think this shitstorm should be celebrated, it gives the impression you guys have a pulse...

Cheers!

- Zach[/i]

Joe Iacovelli wrote:...not always everyones cup of tea, but neither am I, or Floyd, or Marty.

WHAT??? Not everyone likes me????

Well, at least Joe and Marty like me...don't you guys?

I'll go to anger management if that will help..."I feel pretty, oh so pretty..."



-RF

Does censorship exist on this site?

Enough said here - another good idea gone wrong - I guess it was expected!!

Rob

P.S. No Rules/Fun racing rocks!! - did you guys here about the FUN race happening in Illinois??

My e-mail is still there.

Actually, I thought about moving this to the JAPAN forum since it's so far out there.

(No need to move it. Spoof, rants and the occasional rave is why we skateboard and haven't all joined a croquet league.)

Damned blubbery sloven croquet players.

check your email

Sure

Ed note:

If this is leading nowhere, maybe it's time to ditch this topic?

Joe I, WT and others, can we?

Or, alternatively move it to the an ISSA members only forum. If you insist on keeping it, for whatever reason.

I may not have understood every post in this topic, so I may be misinterpreting, but it doesn't seem to be promoting slalom which this site is about.

/Jani

it's DEAD!

Joe,

Did you get my voice mail Thursday?

Alright kids, cool off.

Wesley keeps this site running and is often the only rat running on the wheel that is the ISSA. He's not always everyones cup of tea, but neither am I, or Floyd, or Marty.

Rule #0.0 No fighting on the internet. Show up, race and if that's not enough, put a clock radio in a pillow case like Pappas told me about.

It's always so nice when the hall monitor shows up to pass out the detention slips.

It's pretty hard to be put down by some one who skates parallel stance.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I suggest....

1. DVR'ing 40 hours of fuel tv, Kenny's dvd's and Maria's enourmous library of slalom footage.

2. Get an extension cord.

3. Fill the bath tub.

4. Toss powered on DVR with said content in tub with you.

I give you guarantee that will work!

You guys had to ask questions about skateboarding to figure it out? Man that's some tired ass shit, Fats.

My simple program will get you skateboarding in no time:

-I ignore every medium of Skateboarding knowledge, such as the internet, or my peers.
-I showed up to a race having never stepped on a board.
-Using my burly outdoorsmen skills, I hunt and killed an b to c class racer.
-Using my knowledge of Voodoo tribe magic I then proceeded to eat his brains from his skull (like a grapefruit!), which naturally allowed me to take his memories and his knowledge.
-In order to gain acceptance of the "scene", I simply donned his clothing and wore his face as a mask.
-Profit!

I followed these simple steps 4 years ago in Ottawa, and it's been working ever since. This growing trend is probably one of the reasons why Kieth is always packing at races.




ps:


It's a migzirra! RUN!

Joe Iacovelli wrote:See dude? Hef? The grotto? That shit hasn't been cool since 1979.

Now we all hang with Bob Guccionne Jr in a chat room.

Well, damn. It was YOUR meeting.

See dude? Hef? The grotto? That shit hasn't been cool since 1979.

Now we all hang with Bob Guccionne Jr in a chat room.

Ron Barbagallo wrote:o There hasta be a meeting aboot that kinda shit.

There was.

WE had a great time. It was catered by a Greek delicatessen (nobody does Italian like the Greeks.) Afterwards we all met Hef in the grotto and drank Appletinis.

Didn't you get the memo?

No. Wait. I forgot.

Ron, just forget I wrote this.

oh, and nothing against Richy and Maria - I recommend their site ALL the time, great value and a great product. I wish they had been around when I started - they woulda saved me a fortune in money and wasted time!!

Here's the deal Wes, and I'll use small words so I don't trip you up - yes sometimes kids ask lots of dumb questions. Over and over. Again and again. And yes half the time they should just be told to shut the f#@k up and go skate. BUT sometimes NOT giving them the same dismissive answer is the right thing to do. It's VERY easy to turn off a skater to slalom with an elitist attitude. I wouldn't still be going to races if Joe and Gilmour and Sidlo and GeezerX and Tway hadn't been nice to me at my first Farm race.

To those who do not participate in slalom, it looks pretty dumb in pictures. To tell someone that you ride a skateboard down a hill around cones sounds pretty dumb. Getting someone to TRY it is the clincher! If Joe I didn't drive to Jersey that cold Saturday all those years ago and let Raab and I try his boards, I and everyone in the Jersey family tree wouldn't be involved in slalom. That may have been a good thing depending on how you look at it;)

Then came the questions - can I ride this? what aboot this? If those guys weren't patient, I woulda bailed.

You've beeen doing it a long time, so you don't remember what it was like when you started. I'm sure Piercy or Ryan wouldn't have wanted to answer a million questions either. One of the most exciting things aboot slalom is that the top top top guys in the sport are approachable. Who's nicer than Jason? Who's funnier than Kenny? Who's more fun than Dominik? What team brings blowup dolls to a race?

So to bring it all home, the J.I.S.S.A. is about growing the sport and having fun doing something. Smack talk is fine and encouraged, but you gotta earn it. There hasta be a meeting aboot that kinda shit.

It snowed here again yesterday. No chance for me to ride. And with snow comes sand and salt that will be on the road for another 30 days, so even if the weather is fine, you can't turn or you end up on your ass. I'm sure it's nice at Folly Beach, but maybe asking questions is all some kid in Michigan can do right now.

I get burned out on answering them too, but I guess you could just ignore them. Just like you've ignored advances in fashion and footware since 1979

So you gotta ask yourself one question:

Do we inspire them to slalom or inspire then to ask more questions on the Internet? (He mockingly asks on the Internet.)

Sometimes spending days on end just thinking about it ain't enough. Eventually ya' gotta go out and just shoot the motherfu . . . um, ride a skateboard.

Stephen Lavin wrote:

Joe Iacovelli wrote:who wins the frickin B group at Dixie Cup, baby!

Everybody knows I let you win...

LAVIN

It was the Gecko......oh, wait....

Lenny Poage wrote:What about official JISSA Speedos?

Speedo = Fullbag

-RF